The bottom... feels So much better than the top.

Loop-de-loop and nauseous curve;
roller coaster, never tamed.
Your feet tell tales of twisted nerve;
Reflexology, here to serve.
Sever the legs that made you lame,
murder the damsel of idiot's fame.

Super Sweet

Sixteen is as good as childhood gets, I suppose. Sixteen is nice when you're fifteen, but I haven't been fifteen in a long time. Sixteen is too little too late.

Driving Kills Everybody

Driver's education programs are here to tell you that you are stupid and that everything you could possibly do in a car is dangerous.


On that note, I am proud to launch my new anti-drug campaign, which I owe entirely to my recent education.

Trypanophobia (Requiem)

I'm looking at the crooks of my elbows and I'm building my life around my phobia and it's going to be dandy.

I will never do heroin.
I will never develop diabetes.
I'm going to pass up vaccines and blood tests but that's all right because I will never be sick, ever.

You're not putting anything into my veins. I'm running away from my fears and I'm taking my veins with me and why don't you just fucking try to catch me.

As If The Sun Shone Out Her Arse

I watch stupid movies, and what hits me like a splinter every time is how passionate the characters are. It's not even romantic passion rather than passion for something, the passion that drives their life, that they'll leap over any obstacle to follow.

I can't find that anywhere. The best candidate for my passion would be writing, but writing has always been like pooping for me. I get really agitated when I can't write, but otherwise it's just something that happens naturally.

My life is really great, but I should try to fall in love before I die.

Hermaphrodite

My friend decreed that Bend It Like Beckham is the quintessential chick flick. I disagreed with him, having Legally Blonde in mind, but almost revoked that statement after having watched it again last night. It was somewhere between getting all teary when Jess's dad defended her dreams and swooning when she and the coach finally kissed that I began to doubt myself.

And yet I found myself getting more high with each gunshot and explosion in Live Free or Die Hard, overwhelmed by euphoric bliss when a police car and helicopter collided in midair.

I remember an episode of House with someone like me on it. House could fix me if I wanted him to.